By Debbie Gardner
dgardner@thereminder.com
Helping an elder come to the decision it’s time to stop driving is one of the hardest tasks a loved one can face.
Giving up those keys means giving up a large measure of independence.
Giving up those keys also means becoming dependent on others to get you where you need to go – like the doctor – or where you want to go – like the supermarket, library or senior center.
It means for the elder, their daily and weekly schedule is no longer their own. Their errands, and necessary trips, are now at the deference of someone else and their calendar.
My family was fortunate. My then 93-year-old mother came to the decision it was probably time to give up the keys just as the enforced lockdown of the coronavirus pandemic started to ease in 2021. She hadn’t driven in over two years, and increasing health issues were visibly sapping her strength.
Though she made mentions about wanting to take the car for a spin out in the neighborhood, that activity never materialized. She just quietly put the keys aside.
But that isn’t always the case, as I’ve heard from friends and colleagues. Having “the talk” about driving isn’t something anyone relishes, and often ends with hurt feelings and a power struggle.
And though a decade-long survey of over 2,990 drivers in five major U.S. cities by the AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety (https://tinyurl.com/nhbbke74) showed elders are increasingly driving safely into their late 70s, perhaps it’s time for elders and their adult children to take a different approach to the decision about when to hand over the keys.
Making a driving retirement ‘plan’
The Older Adult Driving Initiative at East Carolina University calls the approach, which they promote on their website as making a Driving Retirement Plan.
In essence, such a plan entails formulating steps to prepare for when it’s time to give up the keys.
These steps, which should be directed by the elder (with help from whomever they wish), can entail researching local alternative transportation methods – be it a senior center bus, local bus system vans for the elderly or even using Uber or Lyft drivers.
It should also entail a “try before you buy” period where the elder tests out some of the available local transportation methods while they still have their keys and drive. This gives the person an opportunity to see what might work when the time comes, and what might not.
Because the experiments are conducted before the situation is critical, it gives both the elder and those who love them, time to adjust to a time when driving is less a part of the elder’s life.
More than just ‘planning to stop’
The Older Adult Driving Initiative website, Plan for the Road Ahead, takes a comprehensive look at driving and elders, offering statistics and studies on older drivers and safety, information on how elders can find and take a driving assessment to gauge their own driving skills, perspectives on the advent of vehicle safety equipment and how effectively elders are adapting to it, a post for adult children that explains the angst of elders about giving up their keys (“Why Don’t My Kids Get it?”), resources for adult children when it’s time to plan to have “The Talk,” even information about safe driving and early-stage dementia.
To access these topics, and a wealth of information about elders and driving safely, visit https://planfortheroadahead.com/
The information, and the Older Driver Initiative upon which it is based, are a project of Anne Dickerson, PhD, OTR/L, SCDCM, FAOTA, FGSA, a professor of occupational therapy at East Carolina University, based in Greenville, North Carolina. With 40 years of experience in her field, Dickerson is an international scholar in occupational therapy with older adults, aging drivers, interactive driving simulation, drivers with autism spectrum disorder, and driver rehabilitation and was awarded ECU’s Lifetime Achievement Award for Excellence in Research and Creative Activity in 2018.
