Talking tips for elders, families on when it's time to stop driving

For adult children, one of the more difficult conversations to have with their aging parents is when it may be time for them to stop driving, because a driver's license is a powerful symbol of youth and independence. According to Home Instead Senior Care of Massachusetts (www.homeinstead.com/ma), which provides high quality, trusted home care to help seniors remain in their homes as they grow older, striking the right balance between protecting your loved one's rights and wishes and protecting their safety and the community's can be a tricky juggling act. "Factors, other than age alone, may play a significant role in diminishing safe driving, but we know a vast majority of adult children are concerned about their parents' driving safety. Home Instead Senior Care developed tips to help adult children and their parents address driving safety as well as identify next steps once the decision is made," said Jack Cross, owner, Home Instead Senior Care of Lexington, one of 17 offices in Massachusetts. Based on years of experience in helping families address issues, including when senior drivers should consider giving up their keys, Home Instead Senior Care of Massachusetts has compiled some practical tips: • Position interest in their driving as a positive effort to make smart and safe decisions with their help as opposed to criticizing or judging a senior loved ones driving. • Start having the conversation before frequent driving problems start before a tragedy strikes. • Be prepared with specific examples where their driving was a problem vs. voicing a "general concern." For example, say "Remember last week at the store when you bumped all those carts coming out of your parking spot?" or "I noticed a new scratch down your door. Are you all right?" • Make them part of the decision vs. "talking at them." Ask your elder how he or she feels about driving; ask him or her, as a smart and caring person, to be honest with themselves about whether driving is safe for them, about whether driving at night is still be a good idea, etc. • Have a friend, close family member, doctor or other trusted people form a united front and broach the subject. • Encourage him or her to have an impartial third party assess the safety of their driving. In addition to AAA's RoadWise Review, a software assessment tool, there are Massachusetts organizations to check their driving abilities conveniently and confidentially at home. • If he or she refuses to give up the keys and you are steadfast in your concerns, feel free to refuse to ride, or let your children ride with them. This sends a strong message. • Find alternative transportation options. If your elder lives in an urban setting, public transportation or taxis may be a great option. In suburban settings, find neighbors or friends who can drive, offer him or her a regular time slot when you or another family member can provide a ride, or look into senior transportation services like The Ride. Professional, non-medical caregivers are also a great source of reliable and regular transportation for your loved one to the supermarket, social events, doctors appointments, etc. as part of their overall in-home care services. • After the decision has been made, keep a keen eye for isolation and depression due to the loss of independence. Again having alternative transportation and care giving plans in place will help lessen these issues and help your senior loved one get where they need to go, stay socially engaged and remain as healthy and happy as possible. About Home Instead Senior Care of Massachusetts Home Instead Senior Care is a network of 17 locally owned offices in Massachusetts dedicated to providing high quality, trusted home care to help seniors remain in their homes as they grow older. For those who have chosen to age at home, HISC can be the difference between counting the years and living them. Services are also available to seniors living in facilities. To learn more about Home Instead Senior Care of Massachusetts, please visit < a href="http://www.homeinstead.com/ma" target="new">www.homeinstead.com/ma.