The South Hadley Public Library recently invited Deborah Marshall, a former member of the Pioneer Valley Shambala Center for Meditation in Northampton, to host a Zoom presentation on “Centering Yourself for the Holidays.”
Presented here are excerpts from Marshall’s talk, which focused on three points about handing stress as we enter yet another pandemic- influenced holiday season.
“We continue to live with uncertainty… continued cases of illness and loss of lives as well as an on again off again controversial mask mandate. And now, to add to all of that we have the holiday season approaching, no stress there, right?
“You may question the safety of continuing traditional family gatherings or you may be considering alternative celebrations again this year.
“People may be lonely, or grieving the loss of loved ones … worried about not having enough money … or food, seeing what is reflected in the news.
“We may not have full control over the virus continue to spread, but many of us are beginning to plan for travel, attending gatherings, hosting guests and are looking to return to some pre-pandemic traditions.
“[However] I’ve noticed that often as I attempt to create joyful harmonious celebrations there is an overwhelming negative feeling that [I am] not grounded or centered, or at least not presenting our best version of [ourself].
“Physical signs that we are no longer grounded in the present moment may be marked by quick and shallow breaths, a fast heartbeat, short temperedness, blood pressure issues, irritability and an inability to stay focused on the task at hand. Other examples may be excessive spending or a predisposition toward stress eating.
“How does a sense of groundlessness show up in life sometimes? It may be very subtle to begin with [and then] it just kind of sneaks up on us and before you know it – Bam! – we’ve been plowed over by Santa’s reindeer.”
“When I talk about being grounded I’m talking about getting out of your head – not reminiscing about a bad time, or the past or thinking about the future – and just being here in the present moment with what’s going on right now.”
Listed here are some strategies Marshall offered to help you feel more grounded this holiday season:
“Practice gratitude. Settle down just a little bit and try to think about what is good in life, what is it that [you] appreciate because everything isn’t bad all the time. When you’re feeling stressed out trying to recall and write down one – or more – things that you’re grateful for. This makes a big difference and opens up the pathway and with that [you] can kind of start to rise out of that a bit of a funk.
“Appreciate the simple pleasures. They’re there in everyday situations and they don’t cost anything! For some people it’s that first cup of coffee in the morning. Me, I love the sunrise, some people they prefer the sunset.” A juicy piece of fruit, a child’s smile, the peace of being in nature – “those things that we find, they can absolutely be life-sustaining but it takes time to notice them because we oftentimes go around on automatic pilot.
“Prioritize your mental health and emotional health. How we do that sometimes it’s just a matter of turning off the noise.
“Practice generosity. I’m not talking about giving cash. A smile, or the simple act of listening, can be incredibly valuable; we’re doing something, we’re being generous [with our time and ourselves] and it can distract us from our own problems.” Feeling depleted? Start with small acts and do it frequently.
“Get moving and stay active. Find an activity you like and stick with it. Walk, or run, find an online class that has movement activities, or a YouTube dance class.
“These can only strengthen you and get you through the holidays.”
“Sometimes when you are overwhelmed and have lost your sense of grounding, you can just come back to the simple act of focusing on your breathing. It’s something we do all day, every day, but we take it for granted. When we focus on our breathing we can feel a sense of relaxation throughout the body.
“Even the simple act of taking a deep breath before starting an activity, that’s a way to bring mindfulness to yourself.”
Mindfulness meditation, which focuses on breathing, is often thought of as a way to banish troubling thoughts, but Marshall indicated that isn’t exactly what this practice accomplishes for everyone.
“People tend to overthink meditation, but over the time that I’ve learned that it doesn’t erase the thoughts in your head, but it does settle them down, and it helps us find a way to make [life] work with us.
