An experienced therapist and Director of Counseling in the Dexter Counseling Center at American International College, Dr. Renee Rosado is well-versed in helping people of all ages navigate family situations.
Prime asked her for insight into the best way to navigate the upcoming holiday gathering season, especially with mask and vaccine concerns.
Here’s what she shared:
“It’s true that holidays can be an opportunity for folks to come together and feel connected with supportive, loving family and friends who share similar values, beliefs, and traditions. However, that is not the reality for many. Holiday seasons can involve difficult gatherings with unspoken tensions due to unresolved past transgressions, intense direct conflicts, or the re-enacting of abusive patterns. Additionally, some people may experience extreme loneliness or the poignancy of loss and the regret of missed opportunities. Strategies for folks who plan to participate in challenging holiday gatherings include setting realistic expectations and clarifying ones’ boundaries in advance. Seek out allies who will also be attending and, if possible, plan breaks to engage in self-care and stay connected with people who are supportive and aligned with your values. Intentionally reflect on your “why” for participating – or not participating – and invest your energy in holding that in the center of your mind and heart to make meaningful decisions. For those who will be alone this holiday season, seek ways to create new traditions or at minimum, create ways to engage in self-care whether it be snuggling under a blanket and watching movies, reading a book, taking a walk, slowing down and making time to rest, or reaching out and volunteering in the community.”
“This certainly is a topic that has divided our nation as well as many families. As a licensed psychologist who works in a college counseling center co-located with health services, I take a public health perspective and strongly advocate for people to actively engage in behaviors that protect themselves and others from the risk of contracting and spreading a highly contagious virus. Following public health recommendations of limiting the size of gatherings, maintaining physical distance or visiting outdoors when possible, masking, vaccination, and appropriate hand washing are all ways to reduce risks and increase safety among families and friends who will gather over the holidays. Finding ways to respect each other while establishing and honoring our own boundaries is not easy, but intentionally engaging in behaviors that align with one’s values will feel most authentic and comfortable.”
“Grieving is a complex, non-linear process that can often feel isolating as we grapple with a range of emotions including sadness, anger, fear, loneliness, and guilt. We think of grief as following the death of loved ones, but grief is also experienced from the loss of a job/career, a friendship, a beloved pet, our predictable routines or traditions – anything meaningful that comes to an end or changes in unexpected ways. Be kind and gentle with yourself and others while we trudge through this pain at different paces; some may be feeling anger while others are feeling sadness or guilt. Self-reflection and increased awareness as well as compassion are all important for gaining perspective and insight on one’s current emotional status. Reach out and connect with those who listen without judgment. Talk openly in safe spaces about your feelings; lean into the discomfort when possible. Reach out to professionals when it feels overwhelming or debilitating.“
