By Gina M. Barry
Partner, Bacon Wilson P.C.
“I’m so stressed out!” Certainly, all of us have made this proclamation. Take a moment now to think of how you felt at that time, and you will get a glimpse into the daily lives of our nation’s family caregivers. A caregiver is anyone who helps another person in need with daily tasks, such as bathing, cooking, eating, taking medications, dressing, using the bathroom, shopping, and house cleaning. Approximately 44 million Americans (21% of the adult population) provide unpaid care. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services estimates that informal caregivers provide 80% of the long-term care in the United States. As our population continues to age, demands for care will steadily increase as will caregiver stress.
The realities of caregiving
Caregiver stress is real, and its impact is severe. Providing care is physically and emotionally demanding, especially when the care recipient requires 24 hour care. A spousal caregiver over the age of 65 has a greatly increased risk of dying over spouses in the same age group who are not providing care. Very often, the caregiving spouse neglects their own health issues, which are usually compounded by stress, because they are too busy addressing the care needs of the spouse.
The physical and emotional toll
Obvious physical signs of stress include, but certainly are not limited to, fatigue, high blood pressure, irregular heart beat or palpitations, chest pain, back, shoulder or neck pain, frequent headaches, digestive problems and hair loss. Caregivers experiencing sustained stress may also exhibit a weakened immune system.
Emotional signs of stress are usually not easily observed. These signs include anxiety, depression, irritability, frustration, lack of control, or isolation. A stressed caregiver may also report or exhibit mood swings, memory problems, and/or general unhappiness, including expressing resentment toward the care recipient and family members who do not contribute.
The guilt trap
Most often, caregivers have difficulty asking for help. Either they do not recognize the stress, or they feel hopeless. Caregivers often feel extreme guilt when asking someone else to provide care in their stead, even if only for a short period of time. Thus, it is very important for the family and friends of caregivers to encourage regular respite for the caregiver and to ensure that the caregiver takes these regular breaks. Respite can be provided in home or at a facility and may take the form of day care or involve a short stay at the facility.
Caregiver self-care
There are many other ways that caregivers can reduce their stress. Caregivers should learn about programs that are available to assist with caregiving and how to qualify for such assistance. There are a variety of programs available, including meal delivery, home health care, day care, and transportation. An elder law attorney can help determine if the elder qualifies for these programs and/or the steps to be taken to ensure eligibility for benefits in the future. Caregivers should also objectively look at the care they are providing and determine whether it may be done more efficiently. For example, it may be preferable to purchase a new washing machine and dryer than to continue to use a public laundromat. Caregivers should also prioritize tasks, use lists, and establish a daily routine, while avoiding taking on additional projects, such as hosting a holiday meal.
Support and respite
Some caregivers find individual counseling helpful. In addition, there are many different support groups that are great for developing friendships with other caregivers and to learn improved ways to provide care or cope with difficulties. Many of these services are also now available online.
Moreover, caregivers should be sure to include some fun in their weekly schedule. Socially-distanced activities, such as going for a walk, taking a bath, solving puzzles, family game night, or even spending quality time with a beloved pet, can be delightful distractions. Caregivers should also be sure to get regular exercise, which provides stress relief and has a positive effect on mood. In addition, caregivers should plan healthy meals and do their best to adhere to a sleep schedule that ensures they will receive adequate ongoing rest.
Preparing for better caregiving
When a caregiver is cognizant of the signs of caregiver stress and actively works to combat this stress, the caregiver will be better able to provide care and for a much longer period of time. Whenever possible, family and friends should also be sure to support the caregiver and to be on the lookout for any signs of caregiver stress.
With the continued graying of our nation and the anticipated increase in caregiving by family members, if we do not adhere to these practices, our nation’s next disabling epidemic will likely be caregiver stress.
Gina M. Barry is a shareholder with the law firm of Bacon Wilson, P.C., Attorneys at Law. She is a member of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, the Estate Planning Council, and the Western Massachusetts Elder Care Professionals Association. She concentrates her practice in the areas of estate and asset protection planning, probate administration, guardianships, conservatorships, and residential real estate. Gina may be reached at (413) 781-0560 or gbarry@baconwilson.com
