By Debbie Gardner
dgardner@thereminder.com
We all have our holiday traditions - family gatherings, treasured recipes and religious celebrations.
But for a group of women from Chicopee, holiday gatherings have also included the Christmas Eve equivalent of a “Friendsgiving” that’s been a tradition for more than 50 years.
The friends, Michelle (Taillefer) Labonte, Louise (Maltez) LaCaresse, Natalie (Maltez) Wandas, Donna (Rattelle) Gibbons and Kathy (Dineen) Krawczyk all met, according to Labonte, while they were in high school.
“I Met Michelle in a ‘study hall’ in 1969, where she asked me to skip school with her,” Krawczyk shared about her lifelong friend, Michelle Labonte. “I was [stunned], being such an innocent, timid and slightly nerdy girl.”
Wandas – whose nickname is Ty – was as she put it, the “plus one” of the tight-knit group – “My sister, Louise went to school with Michelle, Kathy and Donna. I was in the seventh grade, but wherever my sister went, I was glued to her side, whether she liked it or not,” Wandas said.
But in a way, it was the “plus one” who was the reason – or perhaps, excuse – for what became an annual holiday gathering. Wandas’ birthday happens to fall on Christmas Eve, and “bored” after traditional family dinners and gift exchanges, Labonte said the girls decided to get together for a party and gift exchange of their own, with Wandas’ birthday as one of the initial reasons.
“We met at her parent’s house, inviting some friends and some we had ‘crushes’ on,” Krawczyk said of the gatherings that started around 1970, when the women were all still in high school.
The Maltez house was Christmas Eve central for a number of years, according to LaCaresse. But as the group began to acquire boyfriends – who soon became husbands – and then children, the gathering moved from her parents’ house to LaCaresse’s home in 1976. The annual party usually started about 7:30 and ran until 11:30 p.m.
“Only one, Donna, married outside our group [of friends from high school]. All of us others married inside our group of friends, so the girls have been together since 1968,” Labonte said. “We are all family. We have all been bridesmaids, godparents – the girls are all known as ‘mothers’ to all the other kids, and [we are] sisters in every sense of the word – each other’s ‘go to’ for everything.
“Ty still has all out notes from high school, and we still have sleepovers,” Labonte added.
Along the way two more friends, Maria Ackley and Kathy LaBarre – and their husbands and children – joined the annual gathering, which was hosted at one of the women’s homes each year on Christmas Eve.
“Everyone would bring something to contribute – a pot luck – but most of the yummy cooking would be done by Ty, who would make dozens of appetizers and other wonderful dishes,” Krawczyk said.
“I love to cook,” Wandas said. “I tend to go overboard and bring appetizers, desserts and a tray of goodies for my friends. Whether it’s Oreo balls or chocolate covered cherries, I live for the holidays.”
The women also always exchange gifts among themselves, and as the children – which eventually numbered a dozen – came along, Santa would bring a gift for each, supplied of course, by their parents.
“The kids got smart [and] by looking at the men’s shoes, figured out who ‘Santa’ was,” Labonte shared “Some of the dads – and even the kids – have played Santa [over the years].”
Today those 12 children have had children of their own- adding 24 grandchildren – including one great-grandchild - to the mix. A total of about 58 people – three husbands have passed, but the group has added a few more “close friends” – now attend the annual party, the highlight of which is a ‘grab bag” gift exchange, where everyone gets a gift and there’s often competition for the most popular item of the night.
“The gift exchange is just a crazy game. The crazy wrappings on the gift is usually the one everyone wants,” Wandas explained. “I try to find something crazy every year … we don’t want pot holders, mugs or fruitcakes… let me change that to say, Michelle requests a fruitcake every year…”
“Our daughters have started their own gift tradition too,” Wandas added.
This year – the 51st or 52nd gathering – “Damn, COVID killed it last year,” Krawczyk exclaimed – will take place the Saturday or Sunday before Christmas instead of on Christmas Eve. It’s a new twist the women started about three years ago, so “we can really enjoy the tradition,” Labonte said. Two – LaCaresse and Gibbons – will join by Facebook this year, as they will be in Florida.
“We have been there for each other’s weddings, baptisms, children’s wedding, funerals,” Wandas said. “We may not see each other as much as we used to, but we know where we will be [at the holidays,] It’s not even a question. The only question usually is, ‘What are you bringing?
“I’m the lucky one,” Wandas added. “Not many can say they have been with their best friends on their birthday every year….I was born on Christmas Eve and every year we have a party… Could life be any better?”
