I don't wanna grow up:

play as the new survival skill in an uncertain world By Debbie Gardner, PRIME Editor When I was in my late 20s and my nephews were eight and 13 (they're now 26 and 31 respectively), I was the adult who always seemed to gravitate toward their frisbee games at family picnics. I can't count the number of fingernails I snapped trying to grasp that spinning disc [it used to be a running joke between the three of us], or the sore wrists and banged-up knees I suffered in the days following our friendly competitions. And, at the time, I really didn't care. I also don't know if my affinity for their play stemmed from my sympathy for two lone children thrust into a sea of adults for what might be a long afternoon . or for myself, who was also potentially stuck sitting around talking with a bunch of adults all afternoon. Those long-ago afternoons of frisbee were liberating, exhilarating, refreshing and sometimes exhausting. And I loved every minute of them. I still get a kick out of tossing a frisbee or football with my son, Evan, or taking a spin around the neighborhood on our bikes. I sometimes miss the games of hide-and seek-and pretend store we played when he was little. And I do seem to have a knack for remembering the names of everyone in our neighborhood who's under the age of 10 (though don't ask me their parents names, I'll draw a blank). I've always told Evan that his mom was a big kid at heart. And now I have a name for this less-than-grown-up part of my personality. It seems I have a tendency toward rejuvenilism. Can I go out and play now? And it appears I'm not alone in this slightly flawed form of maturity (though as a woman, statistics show I'm in the minority). There are lots of people of all ages who still have a bit of the kid inside them. So-called adults who are resurrecting a love of games such as kickball and dodgeball, strapping back on their helmets and pads and hitting a skateboard park or motorcross track, and rediscovering their love of cartoons with a daily fix of Spongebob or Kim Possible (my personal fave). Researcher and author Christopher Noxon coined the term "rejuvenile" for this kind of behavior in a 2003 lifestyle article for the New York Times (and later, in a book by that same name). A rejuvenile, by Noxon's definition, is a person "who cultivate tastes and mind-sets traditionally associated with those younger than themselves." ("Rejuvenile Kickball, Cartoons, Cupcakes and the Reinvention of the American Grown-up" pg.4). "Rejuvenile [the book] celebrates a new breed of adults who compete in spelling bees, professionals who play "all-ages tag," mothers who learn skateboarding to be closer to their teenage sons, grown-ups who dress and party like they did in high school, and couples who visit a Disney park once a month (without the kids)," Noxon is quoted as saying in an August 2006 article posted by Rachel on the Web site www.cupcakestakethecake.blogspot.com. "It's a sympathetic yet probing look at adults who are upending traditional notions that one's age should dictate one's activities and mind-set." And it's a phenomenon that seems to be growing. "When I started researching this I thought I was going to be focusing on a specific demographic," Noxon told PRIME during a cell-phone interview from just outside his favorite LA coffee shop. "I first noticed [this behavior] among young 30ish hipsters who were embracing kid culture people joining dodgeball and kickball leagues and skipping leagues." "But as I began to get a little deeper into it [I found] it's not only about people in their 30s, or boomers, or teenagers," he continued. "It's people living in this particular age .it's the age we're in." An age that, according to Noxon, presents adults with a lot of anxiety and uncertainty about the future. Uncertainty that's only increased, it seems, by the current state of politics, the economy, the environment and the world in general. "On a deep level, the fact that things are changing and so uncertain and sort-of up for grabs we're not sure what the future holds against that backdrop people are reverting to more kid-like reasoning," he noted. "[With] so many of the people I talked to, the quality they were not willing to give up was the open-ended, competitive, involving, imaginative play they had as kids." The need for play So what is play, and why could it be important in today's world? According to information provided by the National Institute for Play Web site (www.nifplay.org), play is "a state of being that is intensely pleasurable. It energizes and enlivens us. It eases our burden, renews a natural sense of optimism and opens us up to new possibilities." The Web site goes on to say that researchers from a variety of scientific disciplines neuroscience, biology, psychology and more "are learning that play sculpts our brain, it makes us smarter and more adaptable." Play as an adaptation skill is a connection Noxon himself sees in his rejuvenile phenomenon. "Kids are better at adapting and taking in new information, learning new languages," he said. "Children flex and absorb in ways that adults do not." "I hope that part of what is going on [with rejuveniles] is that they are not stunted, but that they are holding on to the part of themselves that is more open to change and adaptable," Noxon said. "That they are holding on to that part of themselves that will help them in a demanding and very anxious world." A skateboarder reborn Dale Anthony of Southampton is one of those rejuvenilers (he's profiled in Noxon's book) who has found that a piece of his childhood truly has a home in his adult world. He even credits it with helping him to get his life back after a hip injury left him in so much pain he couldn't work. An avid skateboarder during his teen years in Western Mass, and his college years in Boston, Anthony hung up his board when he returned to the area after graduating in 1981. "I felt like I was the only skateboarder in the Western Mass area," Anthony told PRIME. "I put it down and instead of skateboarding, I started to run." Always an athletic guy, Anthony said he filled his need for activity by logging "a lot of miles." "After 10 years, my hips were shot," he said. "For the first time in my life I went from being very athletic to being so bad I took two weeks off because I couldn't do my job . I couldn't sit down." He spent six months searching for relief through traditional Western medical treatment. "I had a slow death, " Anthony said "I was in so much pain my life stopped. I could no longer be myself." Desperate for relief, he finally tried acupuncture. "After three visits, I had my life back," he said. The pain was gone, but not the weakness in his hips. At 45, he couldn't go back to running. About that time he stumbled across a late-night TV documentary on skateboarding. He got inspired. "I said to myself, 'I'm going to build a ramp,' " Anthony said. His wife's sister and brother-in-law, then the parents of two teen boys, agreed to let him put a ramp in their backyard. He spent $2,500 creating a half-pipe. "That's when I really got back into [skateboarding] really hard," he said. "I got a bunch of boards and started travelling around to parks." His acupuncturist was so impressed with Anthony's physical and mental recovery, he started telling his other patients about it. "Skateboarding . it was a way for me to come back alive," Anthony said. "It's like riding a bike, you don't forget. "I can get on a board and skate better than most kids," he said. "There's nothing better than being weightless at the top of a pool." "It's very challenging and very dangerous but it's the most fun in my life," he added. And though he's moved on to winter snowboarding and dirt bikes in recent years "skating is hard to do alone, there's nobody else my age who does it" he said this 50-year old still gets a charge out of his first love. "I'll get up early and go to a park and skate from 7 to 10 (a.m.) and I'll leave when the kids show up," he said. "The kids don't know what to make of me because their dad doesn't do this. He comes home from work and sits in front of the T.V. and drinks beer." And beyond the freedom factor, Anthony said he's found crossover benefits to his rediscovery of grinding and getting air.. "It keeps you limber, keeps your mind sharp, your reactions sharp," he said. "It just helps with everything. You wake up feeling great. Maybe you ache, but that's because you're active." "You don't have to give up things," he continued. "Age is nothing." A self-admitted "playful person" both physically and in temperament, Anthony readily admits "being an adult has been a blast for me." Are you a/should you rejuvenile? If you're one of those parents who secretly pulls out your kids video games and gets into Street Racer or Bunout when they're not around (guilty!), or can't wait for the grandkids to come over so you can watch cartoons or the latest Disney flick with them, looks like maybe it's time to fess up. And relax, your closet kidness is actually keeping you healthy and helping you cope in today's society. "You learn new skills, you open up yourself and reinvent yourself in ways this culture demands," said Noxon of the benefits of indulging in child-like play. He also said that, since the Boomers invented the flower child lifestyle back in the 1960s, the notions about what's appropriate to do as an adult have been slowly loosening. "If we really loved it as a kid, there isn't any reason why we can't love [an activity] as an adult," he said. "When you're 60 and semi-retired and you have teenage kids and you're on your second marriage and third career where are the rules?" Noxon asked. "What sort of personal and leisure goals are you supposed to have?"