By Debbie Gardner
dgardner@thereminder.com
What exactly, is resilience?
Is it the ability to withstand the stresses of modern life? To survive difficult parenting? To navigate a troubled relationship? To stay grounded in the face of caregiving?
According to the American Psychological Association, “Resilience is the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands.” (www.apa.org/topics/resilience).
But anyone who has faced any of those situations knows there is more to resilience than just “successfully adapting” to whatever you are facing. True resilience is more than just making it through to the other side.
A description in the online employee assistance program Total Care EAP, explains that “Resilience is walking through each moment of your life thinking, feeling and responding to your experiences with a mindset of confidence, strength and optimism. It’s about shifting your perceptions, changing your responses and experiencing real growth that you can apply to future challenges.”
But cultivating resilience is easier said than done. The people at Jewish Family Services in Springfield know that and have created an online course to help individuals build the skills and practices that will help them foster resilience in their own mind and body.
It Started During Covid-19
According to JFS Enrichment Program coordinator Rosalind Torrey, the program was initially an outgrowth of a need JFS recognized during the COVID-19 lockdowns when traditional support groups were suspended. The first free, six-week Building Resilience from Within online seminar was designed to support caregivers coping in isolation.
Since then, the always-free-to-attend program has found popularity among a wide range of people of all ages, many who have taken the seminar, which is offered three times a year – fall, winter and spring – multiple times.
“At the moment, we have 80 people signed up who participate, though not all can join us every week,” Torrey said. “Some watch the recordings, which are available after each session.”
So, How Do You Build Your Resilience?
Prime reached out to seminar facilitator Reina Goldberg – who holds a master’s degree in mindfulness education, BA in psychology and education and is also a certified yoga therapist – with exactly that question – how do you build resilience, especially in the face of the ongoing stress of modern living?
Her answer was to start the interview with “a moment of self-care,” as she led me through a series of breathing and relaxation exercises.
As Goldberg explained, the key to building resilience is recognizing the stress you are under and counteracting the effects with a practice of self-care.
“Self-care is the building block and foundation of resilience,” Goldberg said. “How do we not just survive and get through; how do we succeed? Anything we do in self-care helps us build resilience.
The Building Resilience seminar – which I participated in on one Wednesday morning does just that – imparting lessons in breathing, movement and self-reflection, all in an effort to help participants “put on their oxygen mask first,” Goldberg explained.
The seminar, which is hosted on Zoom, included an opportunity for people to vent pent-up emotions through the group chat.
Students have praised the seminar. An attendee from the fall 2024 session noted, “I found that I was more grounded and centered in my body and less likely to feel overwhelmed by my emotions. When I started to veer “off track” I would employ some of the physical movements we had done together in class and was able to recenter and refocus more quickly and effectively.”
The A-B-C Approach
Goldberg explained that a practice for building resilience involves three parts: breathing, movement and rhythm.
The breathing can be as simple as sitting quietly and taking a deep inhale through the nose, and releasing it through the mouth, repeating the breath for a few minutes when you begin to feel tension in some part of you body – your shoulders, your jaw, even your belly. The goal is to “let go” of that tension as you breathe.
“Taking three minutes to breathe [helps] getting the brain back online, it helps to reset the nervous system,” Goldberg explained.
Movement – the second part of building resilience – can be anything from moving your arms in a circle to taking a walk to marching in place.
Rhythm, the third part of the equation, can be as simple as putting on a piece of music and dancing or moving around however you feel to the beat.
“Breathing, movement and rhythm are the ABCs of self-care. They involve anything that feels good,” Goldberg said.
Beyond these basic building blocks are some additional self-care ideas. Goldberg said for some people that may be a tactile object that they find calming – such as a piece of jewelry, a smooth pebble in a pocket or a piece of clothing.
For others, the sense of smell may offer stress relief. She finds certain essential oils calming and has her favorite scents in strategic places throughout her home, even carrying some in her purse.
“It can even be as simple as getting a snack and watching something that makes you laugh,” Goldberg added. “Or joining a class or a support group.”
Recharging your batteries
Goldberg said that these simple practices, done on a regular basis, can help individuals to create a well of strength to draw from when times are tough.
“Even if [the practice] is just one minute a day, we are building up our batteries, and that accumulates over time,” Goldberg said. “The more you learn to do this, the more you build your resilience [so] you might be able to stay in that [stressful] situation a minute or two longer,” Goldberg explained.
“The weekly practice [in the seminar], a daily practice, it builds that core strength to orient us to face the day [and] we just have a better day,” she said. “Like an instrument, we go out of tune, resilience work is really about how we retune [ourselves] and get back into balance.”
Join the seminar, reap the benefits
Torrey said JFS will be offering the “Building Resilience from Within” online seminar over Zoom two more times in the coming months.
The first session will meet on Wednesdays from 11 to 11:45 a.m. from Jan. 22 to Feb. 26.
The second session will meet on Wednesdays from 11 to 11:45 a.m. from March 19 to April 23.
“As always classes are remote, free, drop in and may be watched if one is unable to attend the ‘in person’ time. Registration is required,” Torrey said.
For more information or to register for an upcoming Building Resilience seminar, visit
https://jfswm.org/educational-presentations/ or call 413-737-2601.
For information about other elder care programs hosted by JFS, visit https://jfswm.org/older-adults/
