By Debbie Gardner
dgardner@thereminder.com
Maureen Viturale began helping grandparents raising their grandchildren 17 years ago when, as a school adjustment counselor at Paper Mill Elementary School in Westfield, she and a fellow counselor Cathy Frye from Juniper Park Elementary School recognized each had a grandparent in their school raising a grandchild and decided “it would be nice to get them together.”
Viturale has been facilitating the Westfield Grandparents Raising Grandchildren support group ever since. Here’s what she shared with Prime about this growing trend, and advice on where grandparents in this situation can turn for help:
Q: Statistics show that in 2022, 22.5 million children in the U. S, were living with/being raised by their grandparents. Is this something that you see occurring locally as well?
“Oh, definitely. We’re seeing the same kind of trend. And its definitely across the board. When we started the Grandparents Raising Grandchildren support group 15 years ago a lot of the reasons grandparents stepped in were alcohol abuse and mental health issues. Since then, it has moved into the times of the opioid crisis, and we are seeing more drug involvement from the biological children. I think the increase in kinship care by grandparents or other relatives is listed as being up 65% since 2012, but I’m not positive of that statistic.
“It’s a situation that can happen to anybody, anytime, it’s and equal opportunity dilemma.”
Q: If a grandparent finds themselves in the position of raising a grandchild, what are some of the first steps they should take. Are there resources available?
“Honestly, resources are slim and often hard to find because this is a situation that has just come to the foreground. Without a doubt the most comprehensive and most reliable resource is the website called Massachusetts Grandparents Raising Grandchildren at ww.massgrg.com. For those who aren’t computer savvy, you can also reach them by phone at 617-748-2454. The website was founded in 2008 by a child advocate bill signed into law when Gov. Charlie Baker was in office that established the Massachusetts Commission on the Status of Grandparents Raising Grandchildren. Visiting www.massgrg.com will get you to a wonderful website with links to newsletters and wonderful hints and offers a link to support groups in your area operated by the Massachusetts Commission on the Status of Grandparents Raising Grandchildren.
“With the legal issues involved, again massgrg.com is a good resource, because every case is different.
“Then the other side of your brain has to get things going. When you first get your grandchild it’s very import to get your house in order … by that I mean, recognizing the situation and being honest with yourself that you are now raising your grandchild. It’s really important to recognize your feelings – which may include anger, resentment and grief. You need to give yourself permission to acknowledge these things and it is also important to recognize your grandchild [grandchildren] are feeling the same confusion and may exhibit acting out and other behaviors. It’s really important to reach out and find someone to talk to and again, massgrg.com is a really good resource.
“Most grandparents or other kinship caregivers aren’t doing this because they have an overwhelming desire to start another family; they are doing it because the kids need care and love, and the whole thing is overwhelming for everybody. It’s important to come to grips with that early on.”
Q: Are there any local support groups where grandparents can meet to share ideas and tips about raising grandchildren?
“Locally, groups are just restarting after the COVID-19 lockdowns, which put the meetings on hold for quite a while. We [the Westfield based Grandparents Raising Grandchildren support group] were doing Zoom meetings over the winter, but we didn’t do any recruiting and our attendance is frightfully low right now. Chicopee, which has also had a support group out of their senior center for a long time, is in the same situation, but a good place to start looking is massgrg.com or the Family Resource Center in Amherst, in Holyoke and in Springfield and the one opening soon in Westfield, as they may have support groups that have made it through COVID-19.
“One of the issues right now is a lot of grandparents raising grandchildren are younger, and still working, and that means that the meetings must be later, and childcare becomes an issue.”
*EDITOR"S NOTE: There is a new Grandparents Raising Grandchildren support group forming at the Ware Family Resource Center, with meeting scheduled to begin in the fall. To have your name added to this group, call the center at 413-277-6601 or contact Racehl Reniere at 413-391-3315.